Stalker

Recently, im always checking a person's profile out.. he is cool yep~ cute, smart, good at cooking but a bit nerdy though lol =..= someone i wanna talk to but dun have much chance, someone i wanna spend more time hanging out with but its kinda... erm.. difficult? i wonder will he read this and notice tat the person i meant is him? =P well.. maybe thats the so called 'admire'? Gosh..! seem like im attracted to guys who know how to cook and smart. Maybe because i love to eat and i need someone who is clever to compensate for my blurness and slow-reacting-brain =( i find that they are just so adorable and its an adding point for those who cook =D Imagine how nice it is when u back from work or school, once u open the door u can smell something nice and see the table is full with food? well.. i knew u would say tats so fattening! but who cares~ at most ill go jogging for few laps to burn the extra calories lol~ my supervisor said, be positive! if u think u can, u can! if u think it is easy, it is easy! so.. be positive and let it be~ if its mine, it will be mine =P

A pat on the head =)

Its time to sleep. I have decided to sleep earlier instead of 3-4am recently.. In the progress of adjusting my hormones, i seem to grow lots of pimples =( hope my body can fix it soon~ Before i sleep, i suddenly thought of my mum.. Since i was young, my mum was always strict and 'fierce'. Mum has never praised me, and she loves to nag me, until now, nothing has really change much. Apart of this, she is getting older.. I am always in dilemma, i love her so much but im afraid of her as well. I always want to achieve something just to impress her.. Actually what she wants is not what i have been fighting for. She just wants me to be safe, and healthy. As simple as that, mum's love is just.. too amazing. My mum is special, she never shows her caring and love in a nice way. Instead she makes it so hard sometimes. Mum has got bad tempered, i guess is partly due to over worrying bout me and she is not feeling well. Yet, sometimes some tiny little things, indicating how much she loves me. maybe just a petty matter, but yet it has got significant meaning to me. not long ago, my parents accompanied me to drive back from Taiping to Serdang. After that they went back home by bus, they just couldn't let me drive alone back. And i did feel sorry about that for being so troublesome =( before my mum got on the bus, she pat my head.. i suddenly felt like crying, i have always wanted that so long, a caring pat on the head, i felt loved and cared. Although i know they do love me so much, yet sometimes i do hope that they will show some intimacy. mum... thanks for your love and care. without you, i am nothing at all. i am glad that you are my mum and i wish if there is next life, you could be my daughter and i swear i would love you as much as you love me <3 thanks..!